


Through the Window

by Yushin_Bella



Category: Hyde (Musician) - Fandom, L'Arc~en~Ciel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Friendship/Love, M/M, Multi, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 21:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4936159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yushin_Bella/pseuds/Yushin_Bella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakurazawa Yasunori and Takarai Hideto had been friends since they were children. Living next door to each other, their bedrooms were practically connected by windows strategically positioned in front of one another.  As they neared adulthood, their experiences made them begin to question the nature of their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through the Window

It was a nice afternoon; the yellowy shades of sunlight entered his room through the window as sunset approached. Yasunori was sitting on the floor, smoking a cigarette he knew his parents would complain about later. He had lit incense to cover the smell, but it was little use. He fiddled with a guitar, playing random notes as he tried to think of a melody. Just a chill afternoon.  
He lazily tried to pick from his memories some sort of inspiration for a song. A more experienced drummer than a guitarist, it wasn't usual for him to get his acoustic guitar out from its dusty spot and play with it, that day was a random exception. A spark of vague inspiration struck him, but apparently, nothing concrete came out of it. Suddenly he attempted to hit the chords of a familiar song. He played quietly, in a slightly broken way, frequently stopping to correct his mistakes and try to remember the continuity of the song. No compromises.  
Lost in that absorbed atmosphere, he barely noticed someone had arrived at his neighbour's until he heard steps in that room that was so close to his, their windows faced each other. Hide was home, probably. He tried to keep focused on what mattered, but the idea of Hide hearing him play and sprouting his head out the window with that big neck of his only to spy him ruined any attempt of neatly performing that song. He still felt that inspirational drive to create something, but his calmness had been replaced by a restless feeling.  
He sighed, moving from his spot and calmly placing his guitar on the bed. He took a long drag of his cigarette as he observed that figure on the room across from his. The neighbor's tiny hands lifting his shirt, exposing his bare back in a moment of unveiled intimacy. They had known each other since forever, but it was still... awkward to live moments like this, when one is seemingly unaware of the other's presence as they move in their rooms.  
"Oe, Hideto!" Yasunori called out to him, choosing to interrupt that moment. Hideto quickly turned to him, now out of his shirt. Hurriedly, he opened the window.  
"Yacchan!" he greeted him cheerfully, supporting his arms on the windowsill. "What are you up to?"  
"Nothing much. Been playing the guitar." he stubbed his cigarette, placing another one between his lips. He sat on his bed loosely, with a folded knee over it serving as an armrest.  
"So it really was you playing. I didn't know you still knew how to do it." he cocked his eyebrows with a certain interest. Yasunori chuckled briefly.  
"Of course I do." he shook his head. "Wanna come over, little one?" he asked without thinking, sometimes his company felt as natural as breathing.  
"I'm sorry, Yacchan, I'm riding my bike up the hill today." his face really seemed apologetic.  
"Tsc, no problem. Going camping again?"  
"No. Uh... Not exactly, I guess. I've got a date" Hide's eyes strayed as he said that. He played with his hair in quietness before he turned back to Yasunori "I really gotta go. Bye bye!"  
The tiny one shut his window, hurriedly changing his clothes into semi appropriate date attire and stormed out of his room. Yasunori stared at the fixed spot where Hide had been, again lost in vague thoughts. Somewhere inside himself, the restlessness remained, and he worked his way back to his song, assuming it all had to do with music. What else could it be?

\---  
1\. A Fateful Day

It seemed Hide wouldn't come home that night. Yasunori kept working on his would-be-song until frustration; sunlight had long left his room when he decided to stop. His parents would be bothered by him playing so late anyway, even if they wouldn't complain directly with him. He guessed his day wouldn't end so nicely after all.  
The peaceful neighbourhood in which he lived was almost absolutely quiet at that time in the night, but sick of being in his room, he considered the places he could possibly go. There was a bar not so far away from there where bands played sometimes. He could vaguely recall something about an amateur-ish concert that day, but he wasn't sure. He wasn't legally an adult yet, but he always managed to sneak into that kind of place due to his musical connections. He'd do some jobs as a roadie or a drummer every once in a while, so he knew about pretty much everyone in the local scene.  
At that rate, anything seemed better than staying at home. A good thing about his window was that if you jumped out of it you could easily land on the wall that divided the Sakurazawa's garden from the Takarai's. It's not like Yasunori wasn't a front door kind of person, he could go out at night without many problems, but at that very moment the quietest, least worrisome option was simply leaving without saying a word of explanation to anyone. And that he did, smoothly sneaking out of his place. By a natural reflex, he checked to see if there was a bike at his neighbour's backyard, but then he remembered. Hide wasn't at home. Of course.  
With a leather jacket on, his long hair falling on his shoulders and only a pack of cigarettes, a lighter and little money filling his pockets, he took a walk to the bar. The activity in itself was relaxing. The sky was clear, exposing a typically small town starry night. The season was warm, but the proximity with the sea allowed a mild temperature. It was so pleasant outdoors he even considered giving up on the bar altogether and just going up to the beach, Hide's camping nights suddenly made sense. The thought, however made what had been a perfectly pleasant walk feel lonely, so he stuck to his plan.  
Finally reaching his destination, there didn't seem to be a lot going on there. Entering the bar, it was far from crowded but he could hear a guy singing and playing guitar. A one man show, he guessed. Familiar with him, the barman didn't scold him when he sat on the stool, but just gave him the usual "advice" to disappear in case the police showed up, or else they'd be in trouble. Nothing like that ever happened, and that's why he continued to go. At that point, routine struck Sakura, as he was known in his less intimate social circles, like a lightning in a storm. Painful and sudden, although something to be expected.  
He felt like he was trapped in a vicious circle of peace and inspiration that were always disrupted by restlessness and frustration, and this realization pained him so much he desperately needed to escape his boring reality. What was it like to miss something you never had?  
"A beer, please" he ordered. The barman, Take-san, eyed him suspiciously.  
"Y'know I'm not supposed to sell drinks to kids, right?"  
"C'mon, it's just a beer. And I'm not a kid anyway, no one will notice." Take-san continued to eye him suspiciously, before reluctantly giving in.  
"Thanks, man". Sakura chugged his drink, as he looked around, trying to spot any familiar face or friendly girl in the crowd.  
Sakura had been to many dates and fooled around with many girls, but he had never "finished the job". He didn't really mention that whenever the topic was brought up, so that no one knew. People just took on to assuming he was a lady-killer of some sort because of his looks and attitude, something he never made the effort to deny. In a way, it was just easy to give in to his image. They respected him.  
In moments like this, however, he was taken by restlessness and the thought of incomplete experiences bothered him, as if a fundamental piece of himself was missing. A piece most boys his age should have found already, he figured. Every day was pretending. Pretending to be complete, pretending to be part of the scene, and, even though he was taken for a rebel, pretending not to be as much of an outcast as he truly felt he was. Most of the time he didn't associate that feeling with sex, or to anything in particular at all; but it really was in moments like this that he caught himself wondering what could this missing piece be, and how he could fill in such void.  
The loneliness of a broken, directionless youth, he figured. Stuff musicians were made of.  
He glanced around the bar, looking for a figure who'd magically resemble a piece of what was lost, and in sudden awe someone caught his attention.  
Small shoulders, long neck, pale skin and dark hair in a bob haircut. It strangely reminded him so deeply of someone he knew it touched him, and as if fate had led him there, he walked towards this mystery person.  
"Excuse me" he said, and the girl turned to him, eyeing him with arched eyebrows and quiet lips.  
"Yes?" she replied, and a voice so thin came out of her lips he was disrupted, as if the illusion of resemblance began to be broken.  
After looking at her with a dumbfounded expression and nothing to say for a couple of seconds, he regained his composure for the following words "Can I sit with you?"  
Her eyes were vague, not expressing anything in particular. "I guess", she said. He sat on the stool next to her, feeling as if his actions tried to make up for an emotional distance that was beyond words.  
"I'm Sakurazawa Yasunori. Of just Sakura." she gazed at her drink without moving her lips "May I know your name?” She looked at him, glancing away for a second before a reply.  
"I'm Ayumu." A tinge of alienation was printed in Sakura's chest in that very moment, and yet he couldn't back away.  
"Are you alone?" he didn't know how to linger anymore. He didn't know what else to say.  
"I am."  
"Will you make me company?" there was no stopping.  
She stared into his eyes for the first time, and with a slight nod, a movement so subtle of her chin, and the way she parted her lips, there was unspoken consent. Sakura moved forward into a brief kiss, and then entwined his fingers with hers, pulling her to a secluded area in the back of the bar. His chest was heavy with determination, and as the girl quietly followed him, he could hear her breathing.  
It was time.  
He would do it.  
He kissed her again, holding the sides of her ever so slim waist. He desperately closed his eyes into the kiss, allowing it to grow in intensity as he reached for whatever it was that was missing. She gently returned it, and in all honesty, he couldn't even understand why she was there with him. He moved to kiss her shoulder, and she responded with a sigh, moving her fingers below the strap of her dress and removing it swiftly, revealing her breast.  
Sakura felt another twinge in his chest, and with a knot on his throat, he tried to move forward and touch what she had exposed. He hid his face in her shoulder as his fingers explored the skin of her breast. She moved her hand to his lower area, where she found his crotch, unaroused.  
He swallowed dry. His face remained hidden as she rubbed her hand against his still buttoned jeans. They didn't face each other as he lifted her dress again, covering everything. He was nauseated as he softly pushed her away, and turning his back on her, he prepared to leave.  
"Wait!" she said "...it's okay."  
"I'm sorry. Bye." he left without facing her again. Without returning to the bar. Without paying his bills. He just left.

\---

He wandered aimlessly in a hurried pace away from the bar, away from his failure. There was a suffocating knot in his throat, and he felt he might as well die if he couldn't find any release from that pain.  
He didn't want to go back home, and he didn't know anywhere He'd rather be. An overwhelming sense of desperation took over him as he rushed into the unknown, trying to disappear. Before he knew, he was facing the beach again, and without putting any thought into his actions, he removed his shoes and walked into the sea, drenching his jeans to the knee. He washed his face with salty water and sat down on the stiff wet sand. The thermal shock cleansed his head, and cathartic tears fell down his eyes. He wasn't even drunk.  
He couldn't figure out what was wrong, he could barely even think, but bitterness dripped down his face as he digested what had happened, and how he could never bring himself to do it. How he couldn't touch that girl.  
As he buried his face in his hands, countless scenes flashes through his eyes, and even though there were girls in most of them a lonesome feeling took over him. There wasn't anyone else...  
He tried to think back into his experiences, to remember what it felt like to be aroused, what triggered it. There were no memories of girls then. Nothing he could recall, except for his room. His bed where he sometimes could hear synchronized moans and breaths from the neighbouring window... Where Hideto lived.  
His cheeks burned.  
That was when he would touch himself.  
And just like that, a sudden realization struck him from his crotch upwards.


End file.
